Is
there anything that big government does well? I mean sure, our military is
really pretty practiced at breaking things and shooting people; which (I guess)
explains why they are being sent to fight Ebola. (If that logic escapes you,
don’t worry… I think a lot of us feel that way.) And yeah, the IRS is pretty
good at separating me from my hard-earned money; but, then again, so is Banana
Republic. At least Banana Republic has the good taste to compete for my
cash.
This
basic question (“What does big government do well”) seems to confound liberals. We on the right have been
asking it for decades… And we still haven’t been able to solicit a single
honest answer from defenders of of the state. In fact, satire, sarcasm, and a
little incredulity, is the general response from our esteemed colleagues on the
other side of the ideological
divide. I did, however, receive a list of “ten things government does well”
from someone over the weekend. Of course, I couldn’t help but share it (and a
few observations of my own) with the rest of the world:
Things that Government does well
(According
to someone who I assume is a card-carrying member of Obama & Company):
1. Protecting our freedom
So
that little dust-up in the 1770s was because government was just protecting our
freedoms too vigorously?
2. Giving away land to common people
Um…
What property are we talking about here? Because as far as I know, the
government isn’t actually a “producer” of land – which tells me that the land
it gives away to “common people” was first confiscated from someone else… Sure,
government has turned “redistribution” into an art form, but I don’t think the
forcible confiscation and redistribution of land coexists real well with
“number one” on this list.
3. Educating everyone
The
national graduation rate is a mere 75 percent; and only half of U.S. adults can
name all three branches of government… Watch a few “fan interviews” of the
Jersey Shore, and then keep a straight face while telling me that government
has done a great job educating our youth.
4. Helping us retiring with dignity
Because
nothing is more dignified than depending on a paternalistic government
Ponzi-scheme for financial security in your golden years, right?
5. Improving public health
Ebola.
(And on the off-chance that you’re still not skeptical, here’s another one-word
answer: Healthcare.gov.)
6. Building our transportation network
Federal
data shows there are roughly 63,000 “structurally deficient” bridges in the US.
Of course, this doesn’t even skim the surface of roadways that are
deteriorating on a daily basis. Heck, on my way to the convenience store, I
routinely have to dodge a pothole that has the capability of swallowing my Jeep
Rubicon. And all of this deterioration is despite the massive amount of time
and energy our state, local, and federal governments have dedicated to
“stimulating” the economy with a little rush-hour timed construction work. (I
actually have a running theory that my home state has no storage unit for
traffic cones… After all, that’s the only logical reason for blocking off a
four mile stretch of a major interstate so crews can repaint 25 foot of the HOV
merging lane.)
7. Investing in communications
Sure,
the government owns the radio frequencies… Too bad they haven’t been able to
develop a dependable way to alert President Obama to impending scandals before
the media breaks a story.
8. Building our energy supply
Because
nothing says “efficient use of taxpayer funds” quite like a bankrupt
green-energy company in California.
9. Inventing the future (NASA)
Wait…
“Inventing” or “investing”? Because last time I checked, “Muslim outreach”
wouldn’t necessarily fall under either one of those categories. (Well… Unless
our defense against ISIS is far worse than even conservatives fear.)
10. Defeating totalitarianism
Right.
So government is super effective at killing the effects of overbearing
government. This makes total sense.
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